I’m really disappointed when I was told that no psychiatrist (government ones) wanted to take me as their patient. Well, in fact, I believe it’s better that way. The incompetent ones are afraid to take on me because I’m bold enough to expose their incompetency and the good one, perhaps, have their hands tied and also maybe they don’t want anything to do with me, as they may think I’m a trouble maker. Then I’ll go private.
I don’t understand why I’m thanked for what I’ve done for mental health and now it seems that people are sending me a message, ‘Shut up!’. How could I keep on helping in this field if I can’t say boldly about the inhumane mental health system we were having for so long. I’m thrilled that this government is finally doing something to improve the mental health system. The inquiry, the willingness to accept suggestions, have really impressed me. There are still people who said the government has done nothing for mental health and I have always defended it by informing what the government has done so far. But now I understand that to clear the bad blood that obstructs the improvements for the present mental health system is something colossal and won’t be easy. Just consider this, there are psychiatrists who really believe that what they are doing is right and they need to preserve their status quo, changes to them are frightening. I dare say I’ve seen arrogant ones, those who are inflexible, stubborn and refuse to move forward. But I have hope, I have ideals and like the nurse who told me when I was in the mental hospital some 20 years ago that I am a fighter. I am not a ferocious person who wants to fight against everything. I choose what I want to fight. I only take up challenges that are worth taking. I thank the nurse who asked me to be the bridge when I’m out of the hospital. This is a big challenge but an extremely worthwhile one. I may not be able to accomplish everything, considering the obstacles in front of me. But once it’s started there will definitely be people to continue as good courses will always live. I will be 71 in September so why bother to do something which can be difficult. It will be much easier for me to just work on my business and spend quality time with my loved ones. I’m aware that my time is very limited but living a worthwhile life and dying with a clear conscience, knowing that I have done something good, is way, way better than dying knowing that I could have done something with my life but I didn’t just because I want an easy life. That will be a regret. Life has always been a struggle for me but I manage to say life is good all the time, because I’m honest with myself and terribly positive. Being able to do what I love to do despite what pays for any adversities in life!